Marriage and Divorce in Borderline Personality Disorder

Marriage and Divorce in Borderline Personality Disorder BPD Living With BPD Print Should I Divorce My Borderline Personality Disorder Spouse? Theres no simple answer, but here are some steps to consider By Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and associate professor of psychology at Eastern Connecticut State University. Learn about our editorial policy Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD Medically reviewed by Medically reviewed by Steven Gans, MD on April 05, 2017 Steven Gans, MD is board-certified in psychiatry and is an active supervisor, teacher, and mentor at Massachusetts General Hospital. Learn about our Medical Review Board Steven Gans, MD Updated on September 19, 2019 BraunS / E+ / Getty Images More in BPD Living With BPD Diagnosis Treatment Related Conditions Two years ago I married a woman who I thought was perfect for me. We were very much in love, and I felt so close and connected to her, I knew right away that I wanted to marry her. But shortly after our wedding, things went sour. She started to have really wild mood swings, and she started to get violentâ€"she throws things at me and storms out over the smallest things. I think she has borderline personality disorderâ€"she fits all the symptoms. I have heard BPD is a life-long illness. Is it in my best interest to divorce her? Should You Divorce Your Borderline Personality Disorder Spouse?? Sadly, there is no easy answer to this one. Whether or not you choose to divorce your spouse is a big personal decision, and no one can tell you what is right for you. However, here are some things to consider. First, you havent mentioned whether your wife has actually been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. There could be a variety of conditions that cause the symptoms you describe, and it is very important that she get a thorough assessment to determine what exactly is going on. The second thing to consider is that a considerable proportion of people with borderline personality disorder do respond to treatment. Before thinking of divorce, it makes sense to see if your spouse is willing and able to engage in BPD treatments that may reduce symptoms. Dont Always Assume the Worst Even if your wife is definitively diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and your marriage is clearly in trouble, you shouldnt assume that the situation will remain so difficult. It is worth noting that even without treatment, the prognosis for someone with BPD can be quite good. Many people who are diagnosed with borderline personality disorder do not meet criteria for the disorder within just a few years. If your spouse does have BPD, this is not necessarily a life sentence. Therapy may help the condition improve, or it may get better on its own. Finally, people who have borderline personality disorder often have much more intense symptoms when their relationships are in turmoil. It is possible that working to build a more stable relationship will help your wife experience more emotional stability. Of course, you need to think about whether you are willing to do this. Only you can make this decision, but Id consider doing it with the help of a therapist of your own, if possible. Can Couples Counseling for BPD Help Your Relationship?